Gifts

For as much grief as any loss left me with, eventually, there were gifts that consoled and comforted my broken heart.  This time, it was Spanky, who loves to go for rides.  And we had many “rides”- 700 mile trip one way - to get us home.

I can’t talk about this without making a point here, about grief.  I have had many losses in life, both human, and pets, and things.  The grief for any of these losses is no more nor less valid and acknowledgable.

 I experienced my first human loss at age 9.  It was my uncle, whom died of cancer. He was a very kind man, a hard worker, a farmer.  I cried after the funeral, while we were all outside the church, expecting my siblings to make fun of me, like every time I cried before.  But they didn’t.  So I learned crying is allowed, without ridicule.

 I’ve had some major losses since then too, just like everyone in the world.   Just want you to know that it (loss) is survivable.  It does tend to get harder the older I get.  I’m not so sure I’ll be able to convince myself that it’s survivable as I get even older.  I have occasional thoughts of how I hate being left behind, and wondering when it will be my turn to go.

But lets go back to the gifts.   The Lord gives me gifts all the time.  He reminds me every day.  I don’t know why I get sad.  When I do, though, I try to focus on the gifts.

I have a new dog.  He and I are bonding, and he is filling a hole left by Stinky.  He comes when I whistle, and we walk together, in a safe place, with no cars and no people.

 He’s a card sometimes, and makes me laugh.