When you’re young, mostly you don’t think about this stuff, unless “something” happens to you, at least, I didn’t. However, despite what I believed then, life is constantly filled with interruptions.
I always thought my life would have unsettling parts to it, but for the most part, I always thought I would get to a point where everything was going to be smooth sailing. It hasn’t happened yet. At least, not for very long.
This last move was a whopper. I had a rhythm to life going on down there in Tennessee. I had a room all to myself to sit and ponder, on the second floor of a new farmhouse. I could stare out the window for hours. I could watch the seasons change, the beans and corn get harvested, sit on the porch and take a nap, sweat a lot and make iced tea with lemon. Then I got sick.
DH said we must move back to where we came from. Better air, better everything. It took me completely by surprise. I had a hard time moving. It was very strenuous. It was worse than moving to TN.
So we got this farm, and had to live in a camper. We thought it would only be 6 months. It turned out to be 2 years. 2 YEARS. We had a lot happen that took years off my life, I’m sure, in those 2 years. Now it’s been about 3 years, and I’m still not back to where I was in my creative life, as before we left.
Sometimes I’ve gotten rather frantic, panicked and almost suicidal. But I have to tell you this:
God has met me where I am. I have always believed in HIM. Sometimes, I’ve had my bad periods, where I can’t hear Him. That’s because of my own worries. And incessant worrying is about one of the worst things you can do, if you don’t want to hear from God.
So, about two-three months ago, I really prayed for some answers to all this stress. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I was really down, down, down. Nothing was going right. I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but I just gave up. I wanted out-- of everything.
Here I was, in one of the most beautiful places on earth, for me. I had a new house. Things were so much better in our living conditions. There was much less stress. Let me tell you, having things, nice things, does not guarantee your happiness. Beautiful scenery doesn’t guarantee it either, although it can help a lot.
I gave up, as I said. I just prayed to God to let me go. He didn’t. I found a great Christian radio station that plays contemporary Christian music - K- Love - they broadcast out of Nebraska. I started my day out with listening to this station, and praying for God to “order my day.”
"Order My Day." That is my prayer every morning now. It has afforded me peace. I used to be scared to let go and let Him have every day of my life. I thought He’d try to make me a missionary, deny all my belongings, and go off into the world, and get myself into uncomfortable situations, really putting my life on the line. He doesn’t do this, unless you are willing and able.
Instead, He Will Meet You Where You Are. I mean this absolutely. He will meet you where ever you are in your life. With kids and husbands, or not. With a great job, or not. In the aftermath of a tornado or hurricane, or not. In a crisis, or not. He will come to you, no matter your daily struggle, or turmoil, or where ever you are, and give you mental peace.
This doesn’t mean you won’t have stressed out days anymore, or things that happen that might not be so good, that might be downright bad. But HE will be there with you. Let Him be there with you! You will have peace in the fire.
I really pray for all those who’ve lost everything through the storms. I’ve been there. I know what it’s like. (Hurricane Andrew) He will help you pick up the pieces. Sit and pray before you do anything, take a deep breath, cry, let your emotions out. He will send His angels to help you. Ask Him to Order Your Day. You will see His answers. You may feel really alone, but He will be by your side, and give you peace. I guarantee it.
I think those interruptions in our lives, is to get our attention, to wake us up. We need to help each other through this life, not destroy each other. Help me walk when I am faltering. I will help you too.
I hope these words I’ve written today will give you some peace of mind. Ask God to help you, He will!
Monday, September 18, 2017
Thursday, July 20, 2017
|Stars and Stripes patch from Joanna Fiqueroa, Fig Tree & Co. Nantucket Mystery Block of the Month|
After saying an anniversary prayer for the passing of mum, and unfortunately adding two passings around the same date, I bid farewell to them that passed. Still feeling sad, I have been able to put my hands to the test and make a production of things. One being namely the Stars and Stripes patchwork above. How lovely is that?? I am so thankful Joanna Figueroa is in this world right now, to cheer me up!!
|A gift for a friend|
And this is for you, my friend: a pot of flowers to cheer you on this hottest day of days.
Remember this day in your coldest this winter.
Think of those whom you love, and let it warm you.
Sunday, July 2, 2017
I never wanted to be like my mother. I never wanted to be her. But somehow, subconsciously, I think I've become a lot like her.
I have some of her temperment, some of her ailments and problems.
I even look a LOT like her.
I never wanted to look like her.
She was always overweight, except when she got much older.
My mother was heavy set. Now I'm heavyset.
My arms. I used to be so afraid of having sagging skin under my upper arms. Now I have it, but my arms look like hers did when she was very strong. Arms, big and strong.
A belly. Fat around the middle.
I am fat around the middle, but I am told I at least, "have a figure."
Meaning: one can still determine the top from the waist to the bottom.
The truth is, I have always been more comfortable with the heavier set in my life.
I subconsciously sought out friends who are overweight.
My mother, my aunts, they were all pretty much overweight. I am overweight.
But I don't mind it like I used to.
There are prettier clothes out there for bigger women now than there used to be.
I'm comfortable with myself.
I look at myself in the mirror and see my mom.
I also see my grandmother's fine wrinkles on my face and arms.
I see the varicose veins on my legs, like mom.
I see the very fine wrinkles on my neck and upper chest like all of the above, and
I think of them all:
Aunt E., Aunt G., Aunt M., Grandma, and mom.
They are all gone now, but I still see them in myself.
Monday, June 19, 2017
I missed posting this on Flag Day, so here it is.
I mostly like the ordinary days of the year, no holidays.
So much less stress and emotion.
This is why I wear boots. This is a small corn snake. It's nonpoisonous. They do kill rodents. This is a baby one. I still don't like snakes. EWwwwww.
A mini Flower Garden in a bucket!
The "escapee". When I got home one day last week, she was no where to be found. I looked high and low and even looked with the car in the neighborhood. After dark, I decided to go back to her kennel, and found her underneath these boards on her deck. She got under it but couldn't manage to get back out! I was so happy to see her, and she me. We made friends again.
Showing you this deer right outside my pantry window, because she has a belly. You can't always tell when a female deer is pregnant, because they are so slim, but this is what they look like. She's next to the cages where my blueberry bushes are. This area is inundated with deer, and they are not afraid to get in your yard and eat what ya got!
Here's a mockingbird, chiding me. I must be close to it's nest.
Look at this pretty chartreuse green! The bird nest is probably somewhere in this shrub.
Peek- a- boo!
Tangerine Gerbera Daisy
Yes, that's a mole. Mama Kitty left him on the porch for me. yay...ewwww.
A walk in the woods
The perfect sunset after a rain. Am I sure I'm not in the great American West somewhere?
This is but a dream, maybe.