Smurfette gone. Now What Am I Supposed to Do??

Smurfette – gone…..

Now it is just he and I again.  Everyone extraneous has moved out.  It is quiet here again, and more than that it is finally peaceful.  Peacefulness is priceless.  Don’t ever underestimate how much it is worth.

The other thing is:  It is mind boggling to enter the space around a teenager.  I never knew it could be that perplexing.  I could use lots of other words to describe the experience, but I don’t want to offend anyone.

Maybe it’s just because I’m “out of touch”?  i.e. too old to get it.  It’s sure not like any other world I’ve been in, including when I was that age, unless it really is that bad, and I just didn’t recognize it back then.  Oh my Lord.  Jesus help the teenagers get through those years!  It can make you or break you.

I think I put in my time of times these past two years.  I haven’t got too much to show for it, except for several knitting projects.  It’s really a shame, because I keep gathering fabric and patterns, and creating my own ideas for things, but not being able to accomplish them in the same time frame as before “they” came.

 I think though, that I will be making more of an effort this year to continue on my journey of dollmaking, quilt finishing, and starting on some new quilts.  Unfortunately, my cheerleaders have all passed away, so it’s up to me to motivate myself and get going on these ideas. 

Every holiday comes and goes so quickly.  If you’re not ready a year ahead of time, I say you’re not ready.  Look, it’s already past Easter, and I seriously have to solidly plan and execute Christmas projects.  I’m only 64 (!) but I think and hope I still have lots of time left to accomplish some things.  I really pray this virus stuff doesn’t cancel those plans.  I have my vaccinations.

Just want you all to know the Good Lord loves us ALL.  Don’t give up, no matter how bad it gets, because one thing I’ve learned is that whatever is going on, it Will pass.  Truly.  XXOO

Reflections

It's Going to Snow--Today!

Okay, so it was 70 degrees here on the 15th of December.  It's never been this warm at this time of year, ever, as long as I've lived anywhere near or above the Mason Dixon line.  It's ALWAYS been cold-er by Halloween. At least 30 degrees.colder.  I'm not very old, but you can't tell me things haven't changed in the last 50 years.  Oh yes, the weather was v-e-r-y un-usu-al. Wearing sandals with thick socks, but still keeping my feet warm.
I bet most of you reading this can't remember when:
~~TV first came out, and everything was in black and white.
~~The moonwalk.
~~Phone booths.
And speaking of phone booths-- how about party lines?  If you don't know what that is, ask your parents, or someone significantly older than you, whom will tell you stories more interesting than you can find on the internet.
And as long as you're asking about that, have them tell you about painting the town red.
Well, enough of that memory lane.

Our dirt road in TN-- Mud road.

~~~

Christmas is past, again.  Last year about this time, I was sick and sleeping the winter away.
Then the decision was made to move back home, so here we are.

From this......

....to this:

Still no replacement house yet, but a farm for sure, several different mountain views, cool air, paved roads, and kitty kats.  Four kitty kats.  Miles of paved roads.  Miles and miles of ALL   PAVED   ROADS.  of trees, everywhere.  I even hear them break and crash in the woods at night.  Yes! Trees that fall in the forest at night make a loud noise, even when no one is watching, just in case you were wondering.
~~~
So far, a very mild winter, but we are predicted to have snow today.
I'll have my winter, finally!

Gifts

For as much grief as any loss left me with, eventually, there were gifts that consoled and comforted my broken heart.  This time, it was Spanky, who loves to go for rides.  And we had many “rides”- 700 mile trip one way - to get us home.

I can’t talk about this without making a point here, about grief.  I have had many losses in life, both human, and pets, and things.  The grief for any of these losses is no more nor less valid and acknowledgable.

 I experienced my first human loss at age 9.  It was my uncle, whom died of cancer. He was a very kind man, a hard worker, a farmer.  I cried after the funeral, while we were all outside the church, expecting my siblings to make fun of me, like every time I cried before.  But they didn’t.  So I learned crying is allowed, without ridicule.

 I’ve had some major losses since then too, just like everyone in the world.   Just want you to know that it (loss) is survivable.  It does tend to get harder the older I get.  I’m not so sure I’ll be able to convince myself that it’s survivable as I get even older.  I have occasional thoughts of how I hate being left behind, and wondering when it will be my turn to go.

But lets go back to the gifts.   The Lord gives me gifts all the time.  He reminds me every day.  I don’t know why I get sad.  When I do, though, I try to focus on the gifts.

I have a new dog.  He and I are bonding, and he is filling a hole left by Stinky.  He comes when I whistle, and we walk together, in a safe place, with no cars and no people.

 He’s a card sometimes, and makes me laugh.

It's a Good Thing We Don't Know What's Going to Happen Tomorrow.....

My Best Friend, Stinky

~~~

I'm finally resurfacing.  It's been a rough 10 months.

I slept through the winter, which in the south, is pretty short, but it amounted

 to four months of being sick.

~~~

Sooooo.....the old man, in his infinite wisdom, says we need to move back to where we have family, in case something happens to one of us, it'll be easier to handle things with some help.  So, where family is, is located further north, but still under the Mason/Dixon,

 where the snow....

...and the buffalo roam.

So we left the "fairy tale farm",

with the dream house....

We had to leave the dusty road behind, as it was making us sick too.

Goodbye, dusty roads!

~~~

So, like Isak Dinesen (Karen Blixen), who wrote, "I had a farm in Africa....",

I can write,  "I had a farm in Tennessee....."  and then proceed to tell you all kinds of stories.  Of which I shall, I shall.

~~~

But first I must tell you of someone we had to leave behind, not of our own will.

It was Stinky.

He died unexpectedly, and suddenly, of a twisted stomach.  If you don't know the signs, and get to the vet immediately, your pet will die.  And he died.  In my car.  On the way to the vets office.

O, how I cried.  I so wanted him to be on our new farm.

I loved him so.

So the first story is about him.

He came to us as a puppy, via the airlines!

He was a little under the weather, but we brought him up to wellness.

I can not find our bringing home puppy photos.

 He loved water....

 and snow.

 He was the smartest dog I ever had.  

He knew when I was sick, before I knew it.

He wouldn't let me walk one day, he made me so mad.

He sat right in front of me and wouldn't let me go.

So I went back to the house and gave up.  

Two days later, I was in the ER.

He would walk himself around the yard, when I couldn't walk with him.

I always felt safe when I was with him.

My heart broke when he died.  

I felt so helpless. 

I will always miss him.