Dear World:
I am running out of people to write letters to.
Christmas was pretty fun, but after that, it seems like the
world exploded.
Lots of things have happened.
I feel a need to make note of them like on Star Trek, "Captain's
log, Stardate 41153.7. . . . "
~~~~
“Maker’s Log, early 2019.”
The world is exploding. Everyone
in government has lost my confidence, while they have lost their minds. They’ve forgotten that government is for the
people.
I finished my second brioche knitting project, a triangular
shawl, in a repetitive leaf pattern, using a pale pink color yarn and a deep
reddish burgundy color named, “Poison.”
It’s beautiful. I think I’m glad
I finished it, but now there’s a void to fill.
Working on a sock pattern, and a mitten pattern. Both are messing with me. I think I’d rather let brioche knitting drive
me crazy than a simple sock. I think I
found my next brioche project already.....
~~~~
My littlest companion died on me. Yes, my Maddy Lou left me, after 11
years. I conducted my own little funeral
for her, playing “In The Sweet By and By” song at her burial. I wrapped her in my old green sweater, and
laid her in the ground at my pet cemetary.
I miss her so much. I spent a lot
of time taking care of her since she was a puppy.
She came from Alabama and was hell on wheels ever since. She bit everyone, even me. It ended up that I was the one who would
groom her. She hated anyone touching her
feet, her back legs, her hiney, but mostly her face. Oo la, la.
So what part does that leave? She
didn’t mind me shaving her back, belly or neck. Big deal. Best little watchdog
I ever had. Saying “What is that??”
would elicit a growl and alert stance.
Telling her “Watch ‘im!” and she’d go over to whomever I wanted her to
watch and she’d stand there and growl. She looked prim when trimmed, but she
was a scrappy ball of fire, just like a junk yard dog. And she’d boss those rottweilers around like
nobody’s business. Pull them around by
their cheek flaps. All twenty two pounds
of her. Loved that girl.
“I am in
mourning.” – Stands With A Fist
~~~
Family emergencies popped up, all at the same time. Bankers buying back houses, evictions, mental
illness, life threatening surgery, pending back surgery. Not ratting on family. Secrets and lies. They are all looking for a way to survive. Calls in the middle of the night. Driving somewhere to pick someone up. Feeding, sheltering, advising. Surviving.
The funny thing is, if any of them moved in with us, we’d either be like
the Kilcher’s in Alaska, but more probably like the Donovan’s in New York. (Yuc, yuc, guteral laugh.)
~~~
In the midst of all that, having to listen to someone close say
they think they are going to die during their upcoming surgery, but not having any life threatening
conditions. It sounds like a plea to
die, just to get “out”. Out of the
worries and stress of this life. I do
not want this. Then the constant, “You’re not going to get a boyfriend if
something happens to me are you?”
“That’s what you’ll do when I’m in the hospital– go out partying,
right? Is that what you’re going to do
when I’m dead?” How in the world do you
get it through someone’s head, even after 20 years, that you’re NOT that kind
of person??? Even after you’ve
practically given up everyone, and everything, just so you could please them,
and reassure them that you’re not going anywhere? Well, the answer is you can’t. It won’t matter what you do or say, you can
not change someone’s inner insecurity, or their mental status. You may be able to affect them temporarily,
but it seems their long-term inner workings won’t change. These people have to grow out of it
themselves, and apparently, some people never do. So you put up with their whining harassment
of you or you don’t. This is my life now. But I can adjust
to how I react to it, and I am getting better at doing that.
~~~
The neighbor’s cows got loose, and lived it up on grass for a
about a week. Then there was a little
3-horse stampede up the driveway after that.
No real harm done, just some cow piles left for the dogs to (UGH) sniff
and lick (EWWWW.) NO – I do not encourage that. For some reason, dogs inherently want to eat
other animals’ poo. They seem to
especially like rabbit poo and deer poo.
Think about that the next time you let them lick your face. “Awwww, you
cutesy, utesey, baby girrrrrl! I love
ya!” Smooch, smooch. Lick.......
It’s better just to give them hugs, okay? Which mine get on a daily basis. Also, don’t kiss your chickens on the lips
either, EMMkayyy??
~~~
I finished one mitten in all this time, this early 2019. It looks pretty cute. It’s for a little waif, who said her hands
were cold....This one charges me $2.00 a dozen for some of the best eggs on the
planet. She’s the youngest farmer I ever
met. And she loves me.
~~~
Some people within the Catholic church are really having “Come
to Jesus” confrontations, aren’t they?
Seems like the church organization is going through a purge. Jesus said He would do that. It needs it.
I still like reciting the Rosary– it has become very comforting to
me. I also like the hymns we sing, and
the basic needs the beliefs fill in my soul.
The Holy Family. If I had revered
this idea earlier in my life, I think sometimes I wouldn’t have made the
mistakes I made, and hurt the people I hurt.
I asked a knowledgeable priest one time why the crucifix as our supreme
symbol. He said, “It’s to remind us of
what Jesus did for us.” It is not for
any sadistic reasons, as some people want to think. And as for Mary, the mother of Jesus. She had to be a very holy person for God to
choose her as Jesus mother.
I know so many of you don’t like the Catholic religion. I myself, was raised in a Swedish Lutheran
church. The Lutheran church, was founded
on Martin Luther’s Protestant reformation of the Catholic church. My dear mother made sure she let us know her
feelings about Catholicism. (Not
good.) It’s funny though, how all of us
married Catholics....
~~~
Apparently, my body is very good at making kidney stones. I don’t have a clue how to stop this from
happening. The doctors say drink
lemonade, not iced tea. That still
doesn’t stop it. Just another thing I
have to live with.
~~~
Seems like everyone I know is troubled lately. I really hope and pray things get better this
year instead of worse. In the meantime,
I will continue to MAKE as much as I possibly can, as this fulfils a need in my
soul to create beautiful, useful things.
I am still looking for my protégé to carry on what I have started in
this life. I am NOT dying. Yet. I’d just like to hand over some of the
knowledge and skills I have to someone younger, while I still have the ambition
to do it.
~~~
I wish I could go live in Scotland somewhere for about a
year. Sometimes I feel I need a
different perspective on life. But as a
consolation, due to the terrain and the weather here on this mountain, I can
pretend I am in Scotland or England when I feel like it. There may also be some sheep in my
future!! My own little, dumb little
critters, who need worming and heels trimmed all the time. But it would be worth it. I’ll let you know....
“What do you want most in life?” “World Peace,” the pageant contestant said.
XXOO, BB
